


Secret Santa

by Molnija



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Christmas, Friendship, Gen, Secret Santa, but festive!!!, it's just next gen captains (& vice captains) shenanigans okay, like not for a secret santa event but there's a secret santa in the fic, there's more friendships than the ones I've tagged but yknow, this is borderline crack tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 18:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9001681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molnija/pseuds/Molnija
Summary: Ennoshita thinks it's a good idea to hold a Secret Santa with the Next Gen Captains and Vice Captains. It goes about as well as expected.





	

**Author's Note:**

> a small thing for Christmas!! ♥ MERRY CHRISTMAS and to everyone who doesn't celebrate it, I hope you still have a great time!
> 
> there's not much to say about this, it's absolutely ridiculous.

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean literally. No. Absolutely never. Forget it. No way. Nope.”

“You have to face the facts though.”

“The facts are that I mean what I’m saying, and what I’m saying is no.”

Watari sighs deeply but he can do that all he want, Shigeru’s stance will not change. This whole cross-team bonding thing was bound to fail to begin with, and then _somebody_ had to set up this damn Secret Santa event for the captains and vice-captains, and by _somebody_ he means Ennoshita, because Ennoshita is apparently a much more despicable person than he originally assumed.

He was against it from the beginning but he thought okay, fine, how bad could it possibly be, until he pulled Shirabu fucking Kenjirou’s name from that box.

There are many things he can accept, like Kyoutani forcing him to stay after practice if they ever want to get that pipe right, or Matsukawa and Hanamaki still barging into practice as if they weren’t busy studying for finals, or even that one time Koganegawa accidentally dumped a bucket of water over Kindaichi’s head after a practice match. But this? Never. N-e-v-e-r. He will _not_ go out and shop for a Christmas present for his most loathed rival.

“Just get him something bad,” Kunimi says, still staring out of the club room window to look for the few flakes of snow Kindaichi has claimed to see fall.

The latter flinches in the corner of the room and shakes his head. “Have you seen Ennoshita-san when he gets angry? Nobody could go through with that.”

 “It’s only a small present, it won’t kill you.” Watari, after a moment of consideration, takes the small Christmas tree near the door and moves it in Kindaichi’s direction. He furrows his eyebrows and pushes it back again. The scene looks extremely familiar. “And don’t you like shopping?”

“If you move that thing one more time I’m throwing it out,” Kyoutani grumbles.

“I like shopping but not if it’s for _Shirabu_!” It shouldn’t be too hard to understand. Watari is Shigeru’s best friend, damn it, he of all people should know just how impossible this task is. He can’t do it. He still has something akin to dignity. “Can’t we switch?”

“Not a chance.” Of course not. Watari hit the jackpot. Watari got Terushima, who would be happy about anything. He could give him an empty sheet of paper and he’d still scream in delight. Shigeru’s not saying Watari doesn’t _deserve_ it, as he’s admittedly a better person than him, but he’s _too_ lucky. He himself certainly doesn’t deserve … _This_.

Kindaichi has a point though. Ennoshita gets terrifying when he’s mad, and not getting Shirabu anything would probably be even worse than giving him something bad. Does he really want to risk dying at 16?

And what was that about his stance not changing again?

This is the opposite of a win-win situation. This is a lose-lose situation. And he can’t do anything about it.

Watari takes the Christmas tree, Kyoutani rips it out of his hands, throws the window open, and the tree goes flying.

Shigeru wishes he could follow it.

 

* * *

 

“This has got to be some kind of cruel joke,” Kenjirou says as he stares at the piece of paper in front of him on his bed. Taichi makes another line in the notebook he’s been carrying around and hums.

“You’re at ten now,” he says and when Kenjirou turns to ask what the hell he means, he specifies, “Ten times you’ve said that since yesterday.”

“And I have every damn right to.” He’s not exactly sure whether he’s more mad at his luck or rather lack thereof that had him draw Yahaba’s name from this Secret Santa box, or at himself for already knowing exactly what to get him. It’s not his fault though that the scarf he bought a week ago suits Yahaba so much. That’s sheer coincidence. He’s only worn it once so far, it’s as good as new, he prefers his older one, and this way he won’t have to go out and buy it and risk being seen. But still. “Out of all the people in that box …”

“You could have gotten Futakuchi,” Taichi argues.

“I don’t hate Futakuchi as much as I hate Yahaba.”

He can feel Taichi’s unimpressed face all the way through their dorm room even when he’s not looking. “Do you really hate Yahaba or do you just want to?”

“Why on earth would I _want_ to hate anyone?” Although if he didn’t hate Yahaba he probably _would_ want to. Which Taichi doesn’t need to know. Or, well, he probably already does.

“I just mean, if you two tried to get along you could even be friends.”

“ _Friends_? With _Yahaba Shigeru_?” Kenjirou considers it for a split second before shaking his head. “Are you out of your mind? We could never be friends. He’s Seijoh’s setter and captain and I’m Shiratorizawa’s setter and captain and also he’s a terrible person. I wouldn’t be surprised if even his teammates only tolerate him. He’s like … Like …”

“Like you?”

“Exactl— Wait, what? No way!”

Yahaba and Kenjirou are not in any way _alike_. They’re not even remotely similar. They’re completely different. Exhibit A, Kenjirou has actual friends.

(Although he might have to reconsider Taichi as such.)

“Just ask everyone else,” Taichi says, and his voice sounds very convinced. Maybe his best friend / soon-to-be ex-best friend knows him less than he thought. Right when Kenjirou is about to argue against it, he adds, “Ushijima-san said it too.”

“Ushijima-san said _what_?” He can’t fight Ushijima on this. Or anything. Ushijima is Ushijima, and Ushijima usually has a point. But he’s also known to misinterpret things so maybe, just maybe …

Taichi draws quotation marks in the air as he says in a deep voice, “‘Aoba Johsai’s new setter is like Shirabu. They feel the same.’” And before Kenjirou can even say something, he stands up, says, “I’m meeting with my brother now, see you,” and leaves.

Kenjirou feels broken. He goes to sleep later and spends the night staring at the ceiling, wondering what in his life went wrong to lead him on such a path.

 

* * *

 

“So apparently Shirabu pulled Yahaba and Yahaba pulled Shirabu,” Chikara says and Tanaka breaks out in laughter.

“Dude, that’s incredible,” he shouts, everyone in the thankfully near-empty café turning to look at them. He tries his best to quiet down but has a hard time. Chikara can see why. He doesn’t know who else got whom – as it should be –, still, this alone is enough to make this all worth it.

“Sounds like the script for a movie,” he muses. Maybe he can use that for his next project. If he finds a way to force those two to play the lead roles, that is, otherwise it wouldn’t be authentic enough. “I’d say it’s rigged but I made that box so I know it isn’t, and I made sure that nobody would mess around with it.” It does sound like Futakuchi’s handiwork, but that’s just not the case.

“I’m betting ya, one of them’s gonna make a glitter bomb or something.”

“I hope all of you know not to,” Chikara responds with a grin.

Tanaka flinches and sinks a little deeper into his seat. “O-of course we know, we’re all gonna take this seriously and be nice to each other …”

“Good, because you won’t like it if I find out you aren’t.”

He’s messing with him, obviously. Chikara has long given up on trying to make those two be civil to each other, and with Tanaka, Futakuchi, and Terushima all in the same group, some things are just unavoidable. It’s still funny how everyone seems to believe he’s going to kill them if they screw up. Is this the power Daichi has? Their third years are still there, obviously, but lately he’s been starting to get a feel for being a captain. In fact, he can hardly wait.

He can also hardly wait for the present exchange to come. Chikara pulled Aone and ended up buying him a fairly big ice bear plush after a tip from Obara, and now he really wants to know who got him. The best case scenario would probably be Watari, or maybe even Tanaka. Although after the latter made Nishinoya a zombie survival kit last year, he doesn’t have much faith in his gifting abilities. If the Tokyo captains were here, Akaashi might be the optimum, but planning that didn’t really work since it was mostly spontaneous.

He’s pretty positive about it, which means that he is 90% sure it won’t end in complete disaster. And if it does … Well, he can still make good on his threats.

 

* * *

 

When it comes to not spilling secrets, Aone has reached the master level. Not only does he hardly ever speak, he’s also a very righteous person. Too righteous, sometimes.

“Come on, tell me who you got,” Kenji asks for the third time today, but Datekou’s vice-captain and resident intimidating teddy bear doesn’t budge, just shakes his head and leaves to practice blocking with Moniwa and Kamasaki (why are they here? _again_?).

He knows it can’t be Kawanishi, because he got Kawanishi, and it turns out coming up with anything for that guy is ridiculously hard. Thankfully, he ran into Semi yesterday and managed to find out that Kawanishi likes turtles for whichever damn reason. He almost bought him a turtleneck sweater but Sakunami said that was a bad pun, so he ended up with a really tacky porcelain turtle figure. He just hopes it doesn’t break.

But he wants to know who pulled him. If it’s Yahaba, he’s in trouble. So he’s hoping for Aone or to at least have him deny it so he knows another option that’s out, but of course Aone won’t say anything. Why did he even bother. Now, one could assume it has to be Aone if he really doesn’t want to tell, but he knows him and, subsequently, that he’s just playing by the rules. But do those rules really have to be ‘don’t tell anyone until the exchange’? He wasn’t _against_ the Secret Santa. In fact, he kind of likes it. He could do without this worry and anticipation though.

He decides to hit some serves and only feels giddier afterwards. The exchange is three days away, but he might combust before that.

 

* * *

 

Bobata pulls a face at the hot pink, glittery scarf and Yuuji pouts. “C’mon, it’s perfect.”

“I mean, you’re right, but Ennoshita won’t think that,” he says. He probably has a point, but Ennoshita also needs a little more colour in his life. Karasuno’s colour is black, that’s got to be boring as hell.

He puts the scarf back and holds up another thing he’s seen deeper in the shop, a cheap red watch with a Christmas tree on it that lights up in green and plays a screechy version of Jingle Bells when you press the button at the side. It’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. “But he’s got to like this, right?”

Bobata’s eyes widen when he sees it and he grins, snatching the watch from Yuuji’s hand. “Give that to me, Futakuchi deserves it!”

Yuuji gasps in shock. How dare he? “Futakuchi is not a good enough person to deserve this!” Although he has to admit it probably suits him better than Ennoshita. But Bobata is just leeching off his success. What a bad friend.

“Sorry, dude, you’ll need to find something else.”

Now he can start all over again, great. What’s Ennoshita even like? He reminds him of their old captain Sawamura, who in turn reminds him of _his_ old captain Okudake, and Okudake had a thing for useless but cute and funny stuff like this. That’s why they’re _in_ this ridiculous shop. Bobata can’t just steal his ideas like this!

After a while, he finds a really ugly plush dog that wishes you a Merry Christmas when you pat its head. He stares at it for a moment, then asks, “Do you think Ennoshita is a dog person?”

“Absolutely. No doubt about it.”

Yuuji grins. _Perfect._

 

* * *

 

Tanaka’s face lights up like a million Christmas trees when he receives Kawanishi’s present. It’s a box, wrapped in bright orange paper, and he quite literally screams in delight when he sees what’s inside. Why on earth would anyone buy _Tanaka Ryuunosuke_ an actual megaphone? Is that a tactic to disturb Karasuno’s peace? It might even work.

Kawanishi takes five minutes to even find his present as it is buried under uncountable layers of newspapers. When he finally finds out it’s a porcelain turtle, he’s happy – until he drops it three minutes later and it shatters on the ground. Futakuchi mutters something about how he should have gone with the turtleneck sweater after all.

His own present isn’t wrapped all that neatly, but he’s delighted when he realises that this disaster of a watch is perfect for annoying people. Over the course of the evening, he plays it every time the others think he’s finally done. Before they go home, he hugs Bobata. Their relationship is never the same again.

Bobata cries actual tears when Aone hands him his present. “How did you know? You’re so awesome, man, I love you.” When everyone is confused, he explains that he lost his favourite necklace that looks almost exactly like this one a few weeks ago. It’s still a mystery how Aone found out.

The firm “Thank you” to Ennoshita from Aone after he gets his plush ice bear is one of the most sincere things anyone in the group has ever heard. He doesn’t talk a lot, but can occasionally be found petting it, as it’s very fluffy and very cute.

Ennoshita immediately regrets petting his own present, this … Monstrosity of a dog. He thinks the voice in which it tells him to “Have a Merry Christmas!” is oddly reminiscent of Sugawara when he’s pissed off at an opponent. Oddly enough, he still seems attached to it, which Terushima notes down as a success.

Another success is that Watari actually hugs him back when he pulls him into his arms. He still hasn’t had the time to buy the new CD of his favourite band, so getting it now is exactly what he wanted. Everybody else is lowkey mad about that lost potential. Couldn’t Watari have pulled literally anybody else?

Watari himself ends up with ten jumbo packages of bubble gum by Tanaka that will last him a long time, a sparkly ribbon wrapped around them. Well, at least he knows now how to win over the new first years next year. And they don’t seem to taste half bad. There are worse presents.

Shirabu isn’t exactly _angry_ about getting warm, soft mittens from Yahaba, but he appears distraught. When the others finally find out why, the word “fate” is being thrown around from all sides of the room.

Turns out the scarf Yahaba received from Shirabu belongs to the same set.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> tumblr: akaashi-tooru.tumblr.com/ let's scream about rarepairs and the next gens


End file.
